Saturday, January 9, 2010

Escaping the Vampire? Why Would I Want to Escape the Vampire? I Really Want to Fuck One!

Especially if the vampire is say, RPattz or Ian Sommerhalder.

A new book has been published for teen girls by a Christian writer called Escaping the Vampire.

Here is the product description:
Every teen girl has a desire to be fought for, protected, and cherished---as reflected by the recent fascination with vampires! Filled with true stories, helpful advice, and the truth about Christ's unconditional love, Powers's guide will help young women battle life-draining issues---including abuse, depression, and perfectionism---and find fulfillment in the only Immortal Hero.


I wonder when they will come out with a book targeting us...the horny, thirty year old pre-cougar vampire loving women? What will the title be? "Jesus Loves You, now put down the laptop and the vibrating sparkly peen" :-) (Note from Ms M: Jesus is Not who I want sneaking into my bed at night and fucking me silly...sorry Captain J-you are a cool dude and all, I'm just not into harps and sandles. I am really tired of the Christian community sticking their noses into something they know NOTHING about...perhaps if they read the fucking books they wouldn't feel compeled to write such bullshit).



As I write this I am sitting in a church, if I get struck down by lightning...please don't let my DH know what I was doing at the time :-)



3 comments:

  1. OMG that is so funny. Reminds me of when I was reading smutty fanfic on my blackberry while my son was at cub scounts that just happen to meet in a church.

    It's crazy that people who don't know what the books are about want to bach them. Same thing happened with Harry Potter. If there is one thing I can't stand it's intolerance. Why do people always laugh when I say that? It's true.

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  2. This was hysterical---and sooooo true. "Harps and Sandels"...LMAO!!! I hope you've inspired someone to write a fanfic just like you described. I would read it; twice.
    XOXOXO

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  3. Oh those christians! they make me wanna waugh!
    And to answer the question "why would I want to escape the vampire?" perhaps because the vampire will try to punish you for being naughty? Maybe?

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