Or as I referred to them as Geriatric Dudes on the Block.
Mini E, being the gentleman he is...insisted on driving. Thank God though-because all the old ass women on their way to the concert, either had their "Hangin' Tough" cassette tapes blaring to loud and they weren't paying attention...or they just plain didn't know how to drive! Therefore "JackFuck" became the word of the evening.
We got to the venue in record time! Thanks Edward!
It quickly became apparent we were the only NORMAL people there! And by Normal--you are talking about two grown women carrying an Edward Cullen Doll! We didn't realize New Kid Fans were overweight 40+ year old women with beards mostly dressed like Kelly Bundy...W.O.W.
Case in point: We were so "normal" the ticket lady didn't even blink twice when we asked her to scan Edward's ticket.
OK, It was time to find our seats... we didn't want to push our luck-so we decided to "hide" Edward in my purse until we got a feel for the people around us. Not that we thought any of them would have any right to "judge" us while wearing their homemade bedazzled Joey McIntyre t-shirts...but still...
We got settled and took inventory of our surroundings-it seemed harmless enough. ONE picture- we would pull Mini Edward out to take one picture and put him back- that should be easy enough. HA! Those New York crazy Rob fan girls held NOTHING on these crazy ass Bedazzled fat chicks next to us! You would have though that the REAL Edward Cullen had just manifested himself into the seat next to them. The screaming was so loud I couldn't even hear Ms J but I guess she yelled something at me like "SAVE MINI E!" she slammed her body into mine and we were covering Edward and yelling "GET BACK! EDWARD IS OURS!" That must of scared then because they backed the fuck up! One of them muttered something about mistaking Edward for one of the band members...WTF?!
It did-but the damn thing went right through him!
Once the concert started Mini E did enjoy himself!
Whooa oooa oooa oooa ooooa...Hangin' Tough
He did a little Body Surfing! He tried dancing with the Jabbazockeez and sang along with Jesse McCartney (who we are thinking looks just like that kid off Malcolm in the Middle)...Finally we called it a night.
This was how I found Mini E the next morning!
We think (just like Bella and her Prom) that was his first and LAST Boy Band experience!
We got settled and took inventory of our surroundings-it seemed harmless enough. ONE picture- we would pull Mini Edward out to take one picture and put him back- that should be easy enough. HA! Those New York crazy Rob fan girls held NOTHING on these crazy ass Bedazzled fat chicks next to us! You would have though that the REAL Edward Cullen had just manifested himself into the seat next to them. The screaming was so loud I couldn't even hear Ms J but I guess she yelled something at me like "SAVE MINI E!" she slammed her body into mine and we were covering Edward and yelling "GET BACK! EDWARD IS OURS!" That must of scared then because they backed the fuck up! One of them muttered something about mistaking Edward for one of the band members...WTF?!
Edward was feeling a little shaken up so we though a beer would do him good!
It did-but the damn thing went right through him!
Once the concert started Mini E did enjoy himself!
Whooa oooa oooa oooa ooooa...Hangin' Tough
He did a little Body Surfing! He tried dancing with the Jabbazockeez and sang along with Jesse McCartney (who we are thinking looks just like that kid off Malcolm in the Middle)...Finally we called it a night.This was how I found Mini E the next morning!
We think (just like Bella and her Prom) that was his first and LAST Boy Band experience!
Ms M
I am loving the pic of NKOTB :-) and really feeling like I can't eat lunch after looking at the pic of the fat lady.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, though, there were almost ladies (this term used loosely) that scary there. Let's just say yellow high heels and black hot pants on a 40 year old woman.
However, once the show started- I was loving me some Joey Mac. Thanks, Ms M, for documenting our nite out with Mini-E.
Fucking hilarious - 'nuff said!
ReplyDeleteYou guys rock!!
ReplyDeleteHoly shit! The 40+ pic is hurting my eyes! My eyes!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I love this post..."you got the right stuff!"
=]
I just ate Ms M what are you trying to do to me lol! Aimee and I saw NKOTB last October when Natasha Bedingfield*I think I got her last name wrong* was their opener. It was a blast and yes there were some seriously crazy old bitches there! I just wish we had our Mini E with us than to share the experience. Don't worry we are going to have tons of Mini E pics after this upcoming weekend!
ReplyDeleteLove you, love your post. Especially loved the body surfing pic. I can just imagine the fun that was had during this awesome outing.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hurt any ones EYES with the 4o+ pic...but I am not freakin' kidding when I say...she actually looks better than what we witnessed Friday night! And Yeah-Ms J: That Chick with the hot pants and yellow high heals will forever be burned into my mind-no amount of bleach could fix the damage she has done to my eyeballs! Poor Mini E has been hiding in his Frozen Custard Cup since Sunday....I think he is afraid of where we might try to take him next. LOL!
ReplyDeletesorry- I meant experience
ReplyDeleteMama loves me some NKOTB, I have both my kids singing you got the right stuff...and this is not a made up story. They will get in the car everyday and my 2 year old says " mama oh oh oooooo oh oh" I shit you not. Im glad Mini E got to experince the greatness
ReplyDeleteSeriously is it wrong that I read this post and think immediately, in this order
ReplyDelete1) They make Tums smoothies? I'm going to Duane Reade.
and 2
2) I think that way in the back of my storage unit I MAY have a Bedazzler. And obviously one of those hair crimpers. Cuz my shit was HOT in the 80s.
I have not brought myself to indulge in the New Kids, I'm sorry. That being said, I'm at EVERY CURE GIG.