And my drug is Twilight....
I got a call from a friend of mine this morning...this friend is a professional almost 40 year old chick who thinks of herself to be "too good" to get caught up in fads. She is a sweet person...but her stubbornness to read Twilight was really pissing me off. Her daughter and my daughter are the same age...her daughter is a Twitard Loud and Proud! I envy her. She has Edward posters all over her room, carries the bags, wears the shirts...and no one gives a shit because she is 16-it is expected. I could never get away with that. Anyway..where was I...oh yeah...I get a call this morning that goes like this : ME: "Hello" (my friend SS)SS: "I hate you". ME: "what?" (I quickly go through my head...what the fuck have I done to piss her off??) SS: "Yeah, I hate you, and I hate my daughter too". ME: (again) "What". SS: "May you both die of gonorrhea and rot in hell for telling me to read this fucking book...you for bugging me to read it, and my daughter for having it laying around the house for me to pick up to read...I can't put the mother fucker down". ME: (all giddy) "YOU ARE READING TWILIGHT???!!!??? Oh my God! I am so proud of you! What part are you at???" SS: "I am at the part where he has saved her from the van and is being a Dick."
I can not begin to tell you how happy is has made me...to convert someone into a Twilight Nerd...it is like...my mission in life now! I feel like a Crack dealer! Although I am a little jealous of her...to be in the beginning phases of my obsession-to not really know what was about to hit me. The excitement of it all. I would love to relive it all again. But for now I will relive it through her....and then the next unsuspecting friend I can convert...
I think I will wait until she finishes all the books before I tell her about fan fic and TwiPorn though....oh she is going to LOVE TwiPorn!
Twi Porn?? Have not heard of this. Please do tell!! LOL
ReplyDeleteYay! Isn't it so exciting when you get someone? It's like, "Welcome to a whole new world!" Because I have equal parts no life and a conversion obsession, I ask anyone I meet if they've read Twilight and that they should (nonchalantly of course) in the hopes that they'll become as obsessed as me and I'll have a Twi-buddy. Like I'll be getting my hair done, and be like "So...have you heard of Twilight?" Except one of my friends is so stubborn it makes me mad. When I asked her, she refused to read it simply because "so many people read it" and she doesn't want to do what "so many people" do--even though she also admitted she'd probably be into it. Completely stupid and irrational!
ReplyDeletePS. Love your blog--I started reading it ever since I laughed hysterically linking to your post about "vampons"
It's about damn time then!! It's just a matter of wearing her down. Awesome!
ReplyDeleteOh man dont get her into Fanfic, Im dead over here..its actually better than Twilight..( dont tell anyone I said it)
ReplyDeleteDie of gonorrhea! Nice. I'm about spewed my soda everywhere! I have even gone so far as to try and get a guy on the plane to read Twilight. I felt that I had reached a new level in my Twicrack dealing.
ReplyDeleteMarlana: Yes, TwiPorn. If you are into the naughty stuff I can hook you up with a few websites to read...LOL.
ReplyDeleteSFT: Glad you liked our "vampons"...I still want some! LOL!
Caring EH Mom: I won't tell anyone! There are some I am really into as well!!
Fire Crotch: (OK, Just typing your name gives me the giggles!) Yes, "Die of gonorrhea"...I think we watched to much Ace Ventura back in the 90's..LOL!!!