Robert Pattinson Singing....

So here at OLONL we tend to make fun of "the precious" more often than not so when we came across this little gem this morning we couldn't help ourselves...we HAD to share!

Here is your warning...we damn near pissed our pants watching this...and one of us had an asthma attack and had to go puff on her inhaler!! With that in mind...ENJOY!!



and if you enjoyed that-there is more:




Xoxo
Ms M

It Will Rain Review-No List Style

So we finally got a chance review to the Bruno Mars track "It Will Rain" for Breaking Dawn..and to say we weren't a little scared to listen to at first is putting it lightly. I mean...every time that stupid "I'll Catch a Grenade For You" song came on the radio we wanted to stab someone in the eye. First off...what a lie. NO MAN ever is going to do all those things...willingly. Second...it sounds like Dr. Seuss to me.."I'll catch a grenade, I'll jump in front of a train, in a box with a fox, with a sparkly peen won't that be keen"...and thirdly any excuse to stab someone in the eye-we are down.

Anyhoooo... When the song first came out we were pleasantly surprised that it didn't trigger some hormonal rage in us...and the more it has played on the radio (oh every 20 fucking minutes - thank you Ryan Seacrest) it has grown on us a little more.

Now on to our beef...like we wouldn't have one...It seems to us that Mr. Mars is totally using this movie as an excuse to try and sell this song. I mean it doesn't even play DURING the movie does it? Isn't it just as the credits are rolling and people are rolling out of the theater? AND after watching his video, he doesn't he try to tie the song into the movie. He has his own shiny little actress playing HIS love interest...etc.. I think there might be a total of 20 seconds worth of BD in the video. I suppose in saying this...if that is our only complaint - we will just shut up and be thankful that the video didn't contain a bunch of Who's from Whoville.

xoxo

MS M

Henry Cavill in 3 Freakin' D

I think my vagina just blew up...hold on let me check...yep-she has most definantly injured herself...

I knew that Immortals was coming out today and I knew Henry Cavill was going to be in it...oh and to tie this into Twilight in some way...Kellan is in it too (and I will not deny he is yummy as well). What I did not realize (because I must have been living under a rock) was that it was in 3D.

Now normally I LOATH 3D movies. They are cheesy and give me a headache....but can you imagine seeing this in 3 fucking D:

Well Hello There Henry! Aaaaand Goodbye Panties...


So after I watched this, it took every ounce of self control not grab the corner of the laundry basket and have some fun.

If any one needs me I will be in Theater 2 sitting in the back...just me and my laundry basket...oh and my 3D glasses of course.

xoxo
Ms M

Lemony Halloween Decor?

Last night, my family and I were getting out our Halloween decorations and, of course, I had to bring out my stand-up Edward that Ms M bought for me last year. (Oh come on, I know you all have your full size Edward cut outs in your basement too and Halloween is a perfect excuse to bring them into the living room so you can gaze at it all day)

My Edward is from Eclipse...but I got to thinking...what I really would prefer is a Beautiful Bastard Edward. One who has bathed, doesn't have creepy golden eyes, and is dressed in a ready-to-rip-your-panties-off suit. I know some of you out there probably want a different lemony Edward... an Edward holding a flogger and nipple clamps, an Edward in a hockey uniform staring angrily as if he is ready to throw you up against the lockers, an Edward covered in tattoos and holding a cupcake. Don't you wish the local Halloween store sold those? LOL!

Now if you are reading this...(I think I heard a cricket chriping) but maybe, just maybe, someone is still out there- comment on what type of Edward you want to decorate your house with for Halloween-

A Porn Filled Audio Book...by Ms. J

So this morning I get a text from Ms J asking why they don't have our favorite fan fics on audio books...

It read a little something like this:

"Why don't they have audio books of lemony stories? I need someone to read those to me as I'm cleaning the house or doing laundry. Can you imagine hockeyward read out loud??!!!"

But what I actually read was this:

"Why don't they have audio books of lemony stories? I need someone to read those to me as I'm pretending to clean the house but instead I'm locked in my closet rubbing one out...or as I am pretending to do the laundry but instead I am rubbing my 'no-no' area against the laundry basket dreaming of hockeyward..."

YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU MS J!!! I JUST KNOW YOU TOO WELL!!!

Anyway: my reply was..."OMG! Can you imagine if they got that skanky special needs chick that did the Breaking Dawn audio book to do it?!"

If so, it might sound a little like this:

Actually I think the monkey does a better job, but I think I will still keep my lil' lady in her pants rather than "get off" to audio porn...

ps..extra points to the first person that can Name that Lemon!!

xoxo

"Come" One! "Come" All! We Present to you...The Jizzle!!!

So Ladies...With Breaking Dawn coming out in how many more days...oh hell! I don't even know...but I do know it is getting closer and that means the excitement is mounting...and that means ya'll are probably "Mounting" other things in preparation. So I thought this little invention might "come" in handy...either when delivering a "handy" to your significant other to get him to let you go the the midnight showing, or while you make a mess of yourself reading fanfic waiting for the gawd damned premier to hurry the fuck up and get here already....



I present to you....The Jizzle! If only Edward knew about this little gem, he could have used the Pull and Pray method and we wouldn't be stuck watching him gnaw out a weird ass toddler out of Bella's stomach....









xoxo

ms m

Hatin' on the Prettay

So what would bring us out of hiding for a new blog post?

It would be tempting to report that this was the 28th day in a fucking row it has been over 100 gawd damned degrees here and if you ever hear us complain about the cold again you have our permission to shove a hot poker up our twats!



It would also be tempting to share with you the creeptanistic (what? that isn't a word? Fuck you! It is when it is 158 degrees outside) dude that sits next to me at work who sits there and rocks himself back and forth with his shirt pulled over his head. I am pretty sure he is a serial killer...just plotting.



But alas, those are not what brought us out... this my friends...THIS has grabbed our attention and we couldn't let it go and not put our two cents in...










Did I mention THAT was the good side? Here it the other half:







Um, yeah...



So then we see on Twitter where a lot...and we mean A LOT of chicks out there are digging this shit.... WTF?! Are you people fucking delusional? Ms J showed me an article written a few weeks ago from a pretty respected news corporation that had Mr. Pattinson admitting not using "Shampoo"... that is just gross. I don't care what you say! and then to see this!





I don't understand why every time Rob does something that is completely disgusting or downright stuuuupppiiiiddd  (example: "I am allergic to Vagina") these women seem to become more turned on.





I am not here to "Rob-Bash"...for real-I am not...We Just Don't GET IT!!!!





I guess to each his / her own...








The End..





xoxo


ms.m





ps. please don't hate on me for hatin' on the prettay.

Saturday Morning Twilight Viewing

Why is it that every time this movie is on I am sucked in? Is it that every time it comes on I am delusional and think "oooh maybe this time it will be good! Maybe this time they will follow the fucking book". Why do I torture myself like this? I know by the end I am going to want to throw something at the tv and yell "Bob Saget!! This is Bullshit!" What I wouldn't give for a "re-do"... Oh who am I kidding...it will happen. I give it 20 years and someone will come along and redo these movies....perhaps they will get them right...one can only hope, right?


**On a side note, we tried to clean up the blog roll on the side, if we noticed the blogs hadn't been updated in more than 6 months we took them off. If we took you off and it was in error, just let us know.

We also tried to clean up the "Lemon Basket". A lot of the fics listed in there were either taken down by FF or removed by the Authors themselves... or just so old we thought everyone would have already read them...

Leaking Pictures and Leaking Lady Parts

So, unless you have been living under a rock you have probably been humping your computer screens with the rest of us for the past 24 hours. You know what I am talking about...the Leaked Breaking Dawn Pictures. Now, (as I have stated many times in the past...) I am not a fan of prison/jail/becoming the new fish....so we will not be posting the pictures here...hell I am truly so frightened of Summit that I don't even want to post a fucking link. Now if you haven't seen them I think Perez Hilton has some up (and apparently his rainbow colored balls are bigger than mine) and you could probably do a google search and find a whole gaggle of them for your viewing pleasure. I do have a little something to say to Summit...I have read their little "please don't look at our pictures" letter and let me just tell you this: 2 days ago more people were talking about Water For Elephants and how big of a cock the guy from Beastly owned more than Breaking Dawn. Oh sure...us Twilight junkies were excited for BD to come out...but November just seemed so far away and you have kept everything so secret....it is hard to get excited about something you don't get a visual for.... lets fastforward to today...HOLY SHIT FUCK! You have the TwiWorld in an uproar...people that weren't excited are buying batteries in bulk until November gets here. You are in no way going to "suffer" from this leak.... my panties...those may be a different story...just saying. xoxo Ms M