Time to hate on the precious.... is it too early...nah....
Ok Here is my beef:
First of all, let me preface this by saying I have watched the damn movie more than any human should....about twice a day since the day after it came out....plus the midnight showing. How you ask...well....illegally of course! I'm not made of that kind of money-but since I do not have a j.o.b. I do have that kind of time. And actually-is it illegal if I am not the one downloading it? Hmmm...that is my defense if anybody comes knocking at my door. Anyway.... since I can now recite the fucking thing by heart I think I can honestly come here and get on my little soap box for a bit.
Yes, I know--I said I loved loved loved the thing the first time I watched it. I did! I loved it the second, third, forth and possibly fifth too. But then something happened. I felt like I was missing something (besides Bella's tears). I couldn't quite put my finger on it until recently....and I finally figured it out while reading the latest chapter of Clipped Wings---where is the fucking sex. Oh I know...I knew there wouldn't be any going into the movie...there wasn't any in the damn books. But really.... if they are going to try and sell us on the fantasy of Vampires and Werewolves couldn't they throw some reality in there? So...you are 18, your boyfriend dumps you (for all intents and purposes you think he really doesn't like you anymore and has moved on and away) and your hot half naked friend is totally into you...and you are somewhat into him too...tell me you wouldn't tap that! And by "tap" I mean you've already started air humping as you are leaping towards said friend saying things like "Fuck Me Now You Rotten Bastard"! Oh sure when Mr. Love of your Life comes back you might feel guilty about it and drop your friend faster than Tiger's wife dropped a nine iron next to his head... but while Mr. Love is away...You'd surely play! And by play I mean dirty rotten sweaty sex!!
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No you did not just drop a Tiger reference when reviewing NM. I fucking love you bitches. And thanks for the DM on twitter...I live with my head up my ass and would have otherwise been lost :)
ReplyDeleteI totally wish they'd get off the pre-teen, PG-13 bandwagon and give this fucker an R rating so we can at least *see* some groping and air humping. Shit, maybe some sideboob and EC or JB buttcrack. But I think Meyers must have them by the nutsack. Which in itself, deserves an R-rating ;)
So I'm guessing you got a torrent. I got one too, I wanted to watch it many many times but it's a freaking circus to get out of the house alone! But mine is so crappy it hurts to watch. Where did you get yours?
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