No Thanks Ryan Seacrest!

If you have been listening to the top 40 radio station lately you might have noticed that they are running a nationwide contest where you can "Live Like Rihanna".
UM...really? Ya know, this is one contest where I can HONESTLY say I wouldn't want any part of....I mean when they run things like-"call in now and win front row tickets to Taylor Swift" I think.."Ugh! I'd rather shove nails in lady town"...but with THIS contest you might actually get nails shoved in the lil' misses!!

Have people forgotten what that nut fungus Chris Brown did to her? I mean-she sure has! But I haven't forgotten this picture:


And by no means do I want to "Live Like Rihanna" for the weekend...let alone a day, or even an hour.

So, no thank you Ryan Seacrest and your band of tree elves, I think I will pass on this one.

xoxo
Ms M

It's HUMP Day Hookers!

It is hump day-so you know what that means!! Yeah-Yeah, it's been a while!

These pictures were actually taken the night of the BD release party at Target. I am surprised we didn't get our asses kicked out!

E & B Doing a little "Humping" in the Ladies Lingerie

All that "Humping" led to other issues... (Ms J and I were singing the "Havin' My Baby" song while we set this picture up)

And all that "Humping" can make a Hooker really tired

We hope you are all enjoying your Wednesday and perhaps you get a special "hump" or two thrown your way today as well.

Don't forget Hunger Games tickets went on sale TODAY!!!

We will be back to a regularly scheduled posting schedule tomorrow...with Ms J and her snarky self!

U Haul Should Give Us a Discount!

Yep- we moved again. This time it wasn't because someones "kid" found us..it was for a variety of reasons.

First: We sort of hated the old blog name from the get go but felt rushed to find one when we moved last time.

Second: And probably the most important reason...another blogger kept stealing our stuff...yeah I know we copy and paste a LOT of pictures and videos but this blog was actually using our MATERIAL... like our words, ideas, etc... it was like we would write something and two days later this site would have the same stuff...like the SAME stuff... it got O.L.D. fast ...

So here we are moved again...we packed up our mini dolls, our tubs of lube, and all of our porn and brought it along. Hopefully we can stay here for a while. Actually, that being said...if this "blogger" finds us here and decides to steal again....we will be forced to call them out on their own bullshit! Just Sayin' :)

xoxo

MS M

HOLY VD ON A STICK!

Yesterday I was introduced to the new Entertainment Weekly pictures of TVD cast...HOLY J-Titties!!!

I quickly called Ms J and told her she should take a peak, then more pictures emerged and I never heard from her again. I can only imagine what she was doing (and I am not judging you-Hooker)!!

So the plan was to post a few of the yumtacular pictures here this morning (after a cold shower), but before I could get around to doing just that, THIS VIDEO came out....The BEHIND THE SCENES VIDEO SHOOT .....OH MY GOD!!!!

For more exclusive pictures click HERE...but be warned...you will be just about as productive (or NON productive) as Ms J was after she viewed them.

xoxo

ms m

The Great Wall of...Vagina?

So a few weeks ago someone sent us a link to this ...exhibition... (I think perhaps it was listed on The Bloggess' website). At first we were like What. The. Fuck! and is that an Arby's sandwich in lower right corner?

Then upon further investigation we found that YOU can make your OWN wall of Pussy for your house too! Just what you needed for over the fireplace isn't it!! And you thought you were just coming here to read about Vampires and Dick jokes...you didn't know you would be get decorating advice as well did you? BONUS!!

Finally...how often have you been at work, on your way to the break room carrying your same ole depressing coffee cup and you start thinking to yourself "I wish I had a more fashionable coffee mug that truly expressed my personality and let others know what kind of person I REALLY am, instead I am stuck with this lousy coffee cup with cats all over it that my mother in law gave me for my birthday 5 years ago". WELL--Here is the Cup for YOU!!!
We Present to you THE GREAT WALL OF VAGINA COFFEE MUG!!! Who wouldn't want to put their lips (hee-hee) all over that!!!


Now if you are really bored you can go to the official Great Wall of Vagina website and browse the gallery, watch the videos....YES! We said Videos, and perhaps pick up a souvenir or two.

xoxo

ms m

I'm A Woman In Love And I Love What It's Doing To Me

Last night the Hillywood gang released their long awaited Breaking Dawn video and we nearly pissed our pants!! The part where Bella is dying and singing "I'm a woman in love and I love what it's doing to me" about killed us!!




So what was your favorite part?

Sure, Let Me Bleed All Over Your Face...Cause That's Sexy...NOT!

There will come a time in your life when you will learn not to ask how something could be worse, because trust me-EVERYTHING can be worse!

Like you might think: "What could be worse than having a boogie in my nose during a job interview?"...well...it could be worse by it flying out of your nose and hitting the interviewer in the face. OR you might think "What could be worse than passing gas in the middle of this meeting?"...again...it could be worse if that gas was followed by a liquid substance.

Also-just about anything could be made worse if there was a giant jellyfish shoved up your ass--case in point: What could be worse than tripping up the stairs and breaking the heal off your favorite shoe? Having a Giant Jellyfish Shoved up your ass at the same time of course!!

Last night as I was lurking around on Twitter I came across this atrocity that came with the caption "Love Vampires? Have a heavy flow? Then this is the reusable feminine napkin for you!":

And here I thought the Robert Pattinson Panties were the worst that could happen. Quite frankly I don't know what concerns me more, the fact that you are smearing your bloody lady bits all over this absorbent vampire, or that it is REUSABLE!!! What. The. Fuck.

Just for the record I did Google the thing just to see how much it was...I mean..it would would go perfectly with the Bloodrain Tampons right?

Here are the details:

An extra long version of the Goddess pad, measuring at a whopping 16 inches long it's surely to be the only pad you'll need for your heaviest overnight flows or after childbirth.The inner core consists of two layers of flannel sandwiching two layers of terry cloth and backed with the softest matching black fleece. There have matching black poly resin snaps with two snap settings for a more personal adjustment.This listing is for one XL Goddess/Postpartum Pad in the "Sexy Vampire" print. $12.00

I loved the comment left by one of the users:

"I think most women feel pretty hot after childbirth, so it’s about time they get something sexy to bleed on for a week and a half. And let me tell you, this hunky vampire really gets you tingling down there! Although that could just be the episiotomy."

xoxo and Happy Shopping!

Ms M