I Draw The Line at Hairy Buttholes!

It seems like Ms J and I can't get on the same work schedule since getting caught up in the layoffs of 2009...I go back to work while she sits at home, then I quit and she goes back to work while I sit at home..then I go back and she sits at home...then she goes back and I sit at home...it's a viscous cycle and right now we are in the later (me sitting - her working) and I am getting b.o.r.e.d.  and that means scary things for Ms J! 

We have succumb to sending nasty pictures over text.  I don't remember who started it first but if my Internet provider has access to my google image searches I've probably landed myself on a special watch list. 

At first it was innocent enough.... elongated labias, herpe infected assholes,  a few snapchats from the DMV like these special gems:

 

 

Then somewhere along the way it got bad...really bad...so bad in fact I gave myself an asthma attack last night in bed after I sent her this one with the caption "Sweet Dreams"...

Ms J said I beat her...in turn I replied..."Beat You"...that reminds me of this:

Do y'all realize how many fake naked Taylor pictures are out there folks!?  Holy Shitballs!  I had to stop looking when I found this one though...

Fake or not-I don't want to see any ones hairy butthole!

 

xoxo



Ms M

Happy Friday!

Happy Friday!  Sorry, you may need to change your panties (several times) before the weekend actually gets here after watching this video-I'm sure you will find it in your hearts to forgive us....

 

We Are on to You JT!

Dear JT (AKA Justin Timberlake) we are TOTALLY on to you....So you don't come out with any  new music for 10 years, in fact-you say you are swearing off all new music to focus solely on your acting.  Then (probably after MUCH pestering) you decide to release new music-and it sounds like complete dog shit.  We GET it...much like the husband who purposely fucks up the laundry so he doesn't have to do it anymore you are just trying to get out of doing music.  Well-it worked...  if all your new music sounds like this, no thank you sir. We will just stick to re watching your naked ass in that porn movie you made...Friends with Benefits. 

 

 

Even Damon/Ian is sad your new music sucks donkey balls

 

Damn You Blue Shirt Straight to HELL!!

So once again we have been cockblocked by a blue shirt...ok, cockblocked perhaps isn't the right word since we do indeed have vaginas-but you get the point.

Ms J and I were so excited to hear our beloved Dr. Chase, errrr Jesse (I'd love to lick that) Spencer, was on a new TV show-Chicago Fire.  We were really looking forward to some nice shirtless fireman scenes with Lt. Matthew Casey.  "Oh Mr. Casey I think I am on fire....." and with the promotional tour we were sure to see just that, right?   NOPE!  It was like The Lucky One part 2. 

Instead of this:



We got this:

It reminded us of this:
When all we wanted was THIS: 

 

 

 

We are still holding out hope for the show tonight, perhaps that blasted blue shirt will finally meet it's firey death!  We can dream right! 

 

xoxo

Ms M

Am I pregnant with Renessme?

This post below was found in our DRAFT archives....  I dedicate this to MS J, as it is coming up on her EP (shout out to Khar) baby's 2nd birthday! 

So ya'll know I'm pregnant, and I'm nearing the end. Unfortunately, not soon enough. I was just diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Basically it sucks! I have lots of mood swings, I have to eat a special diet and test my blood sugar four times a day. But here are few thoughts that might make it better...

I keep hoping each time I prick my finger Edward or Damon (preferably Mr. Ian Somerhalder) will smell my blood and chase me down and have their way with me. LOL! Maybe that is a beginning of a fanfic I could write. Not sure what we would do with the whole pregnancy thing in the fanfic, though, not too sexy- LOL!

Another thought I had tonight is that I have to eat more protein and less carbs. I'm thinking of pretending I'm Taylor Lautner and carrying meat patties around all the time. Maybe once the baby is born I'll come out of it with a six pack.

Somebody call 911 E.L.'s Pants are on FIRE!

Liar Liar Pants on Fire.......

I have heard more fiction on the Katie show today than I did in all the years reading FAN FICTION. 

"EL..Who did you base your character on"...."...I plead the 5th"...

UM HELLO...My name is Edward Cullen...

Just own it Bitch!!  Really, if you just OWNED it we wouldn't be so angry about it! 

Geesh!


The End

Ms J and  Ms M

Butt plugs and Magic Mike? Midnite ramblings of Ms J

As I finish off two glasses of wine, I think 'Shit' or 'Shittah' if you've been listening to 50 Shades on Audible.com, What the fuck is up with Butt Plugs? I hear fan fic writers talk about stretching in and such... but uh... I don't get it. I have a few friends who actually use those (for the record neither ms m or myself have used such devises). Here's the deal - in the fanfic they describe them as stretching the hole to prepare it for um, usually Edward's monster cock...ok, ladies, in reality do you want your butt hole stretched? (this is what I am pondering at 12:43 ( I repeat- after drinking two glasses of wine). Not to sound mean, but Ms M and I do not want to have that part stretched, enlarged or for that matter - entered in anyway, shape or form. Exit only please! We might start sounding like another blog that seems to only write when they are excreting from their nether regions. (Readers--- sorry to disappoint but we will not be letting you know all about our bowel movements... if you like that kind of thing send us a PM and we'll hook you up with a link to a great blog about bowel movements)


So, I'm off my soap box about butt plugs, please write in to us if you have a different opinion - I would enjoy to know what the purpose truly is - maybe ms m and I aren't 'getting it'. LOL -


On to happier thoughts... Tudors is now on Amazon :-) I can now listen to Henry Cavill banging while I work on mail merges at work :-) Now Amazon just needs to get Vampire Diaries...


This is when I usually try to think of what pics to supply for this blog post... ugh! I don't want to Google butt plugs so instead I will leave you with a YouTube video of 'Magic Mike' -- which Ms M says she's only going to for the 'articles'







So Ms M wanted me to add a pic she found the other day... um, not sure how she found it or why? but it fits with our theme :-)