PUMAS IN THE BEDROOM DICKS WATCHING TV

We hope you are enjoying your weekend. Ms M and her husband are over watching basketball...ok, the boys are watching basketball-me and Ms M are hiding out in my room like a couple of 13 year olds watching videos of our favorite vamps...hoping the boys don't catch us!

Here is one of the videos that has me searching for batteries! Enjoy!

THAT BOY IS A MONSTER-BUT WE WOULD STILL LIKE TO DO NAUGHTY THINGS WITH HIM...REALLY NAUGHTY THINGS!

So I woke up this morning needing no further conformation that Sweet Little Baby Jesus did indeed hate my guts....the gawd damn schools got cancelled...a fucking Snow Day! W.T.F.!!!

So now I am stuck here with my kids plus one, and my husband decided to take the day off too....greeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaattt!

As I was wallowing in self pity I stumbled upon this: and boy did my outlook change. Today just got a whole lot better!

So What Monster would you chose? Or could you? Would you just like to be the meat in this sandwich?

I realize it is Fan Fic Friday...but with a house full of people I can't really be surfing the net for "porn"... So if any of you have some good suggestions, please add them to the comments!

xoxo
Ms. M

FLYING PANTIES AND CLITS UP FOR ANTY

Good Morning! I finally found a day off -- so I'm out of the church for this post- which is good because I have a lot of rambling thoughts to share and going to hell doesn't sound so pleasant.

First, this morning I had to go to the grocery store. Let me share that I am not usually the person who will buy one of the magazines up front, but today I get to the check out and my panties flew off toward the stands. Yes I had to buy this weeks issue of TV Guide after I wrestled my underwear from the shelf as they were dry humping Ian's lovely face and screaming obscenities that had the check out gal blushing-and placed them back in my pants...Have you seen it?

It is yummy!

On to more ramblings...today Ms M and I both ordered our Twilight companion books. So it got me to thinking why hasn't Stephenie finished Midnight Sun. There are a lot of gaps in the books that having Edward's point of view on would be helpful...Let me say I would especially like to read Edward's point of view of the honeymoon. And it would be even better if it could be rated X and placed in the erotica section of Barnes and Noble. How many fucking copies of that book would she sell? Well, I would be willing to bet my own clit that it would outsell the original Breaking Dawn by a mile! Do I hear Best Seller? And if Ms. Meyer needs help with the lemons...I know SEVERAL ladies that could help her out! Ohh, that reminds me-some of my fan-fics have updated! Ms M-don't call me for a while...I'm going to be...um...busy cleaning...yeah, cleaning-that's what I will call it.

THINGS THAT BETTER BE INCLUDED IN THE DVD EXTRA FOOTAGE

So, we all know the DVD is coming out March 20th (and if you didn't ... surprise! The DVD Comes out March 20th!!!) and you can start pre-ordering yours now. Target is offering the special 3 disc deluxe edition again (like they did with Twilight).

We have decided that there MUST be at least a couple things included:

First.... one word...NIPPLEGATE! We want a fucking explanation! I swear to Pete if someone doesn't explain why Edward's Nipple looked like it was in need of some Valtrex I am going to scream. Which if I may get on my soap box for just a moment....why hasn't anyone asked Chris Weitz this in any of his freaking interviews? I for one don't give a flying fuck-0-rama whether Rob and Kristen are fucking behind the Dairy Queen in Vancouver while filming...I want to know the important stuff...like what the fuck is up with Robs Man Nips! So THAT my bloggy friends better be included in the DVD.

Second... More Rob, Naked (without the hemorrhoidal nipple)..ok, I know we won't get to see "that", but maybe just more of the parking lot scene with Edward. That was yummy. And perhaps more kissy Rob...like the kissing montage in Twilight Special Edition DVD....that was eeehhhhhhxxxcelllent!

OK, now what is up with the DVD cover? Why do they keep changing it? Is this really the official one? It looks like Edward is giving Bella and Jacob a piggy back ride...and when did Bella turn into an Asian? ... just saying...

It's A Titillating Tuesday!

So we get the hint that:

1) You don't like us to poke fun at the precious. No matter how deserving we think it is - with his impression of Joaquin Phoenix.


and


2) The VD's don't really interest a bunch of you. OK...not "THAT" kind of VD...that doesn't interest us either...no matter who is on the giving end. We are quiet certain we wouldn't want to get flaming gonorrhea from ANYONE! (and a side note, I am not sure if gonorrhea really flames, I don't know what the symptoms are-and this is the one time I am NOT going google it to find out. That is not the thing I want on my computer's hard drive just in case Chris Hansen ever shows up with his jug of iced tea and takes my computer away for saying Taycob was hot or something.)

Anyway, where was I...all I can think about is itchy cooters and drippy dongs....oh yeah...what ya'll don't like so much---but the things we can't seem to help ourselves from talking about.

So we told you before this little site might talk about more than just Twilight...but it seems most of you just want to hear about that...so we decided to compromise (sort of)...whenever we decide to post about something other than the precious...we will at least throw in a picture of the precious...deal? Now I can't promise if Rob continues to look like Tom Hanks from Castaway that we won't say something about that....we are just hoping he is looking like that for a reason and NOT because he is trying out for the part of the Yeti at Disney World's Expedition Everest because THIS is the proper way to have facial hair:

OK, and for those of you that are into Ian and the VD...(not the type we discussed earlier) THIS video is for you:

RAWR! RAWR! AAHHH AHHH AHHHHH!

Here is what Rob SHOULD look like:

This is what Rob Should NOT look like:



Seriously folks did he just step out of Haiti? Did he fucking crawl out of the rubble and drag himself through the streets to jump in front of the cameras? A bath, a beard trimmer and/or a razor can go a long way sweetheart! Now don't get us wrong...Rob with a little bit of stubble can be quite tasty-but this full on Unabomber/Grizzly Adam's look...not working for us!

Fan Fic Friday!

Sooooo...what have ya'll been reading this week? I know a few of you are still getting through Emancipation Proclamtion and we don't blame you one bit---we know how long that lemon is (I think it is up to 66 chapters now).

We have been busy getting caught up on some of our favorites too (why do they always seem to update all at the same time?). But we did stumble across a new one for us...probably not some of you lovely perverts but it starts with Warmth by KatieBelleCullen...she is the same lovely girl who wrote the Wendy's Lemon the Twitard girls recommended a few days ago. If you haven't gotten a chance to read these...do it! Have we steered you wrong yet?

Here is the Author's Details for Warmth: The missing pieces of Bella and Edward's honeymoon. Please be warned, this story is lemony sweet!

So....charge up them....um...toys (do you charge them? Or just add new batteries? See....I told you I am a toy virgin)....and get to reading!