Call Me The Converter

I did it again! And holy shit balls people I may need an award for this one. Let me start by saying I this friend. She is an awesome friend. But she is sceptical of EVERY fucking thing! She is my "80's BadAss"friend, she loves 80 metal music and everything that goes with it. She was the ultimate 80's Bitch in high school-you know the one, she smoked cigarettes, drank, snuck out of her house, hid out from the cops ... all the stuff I was too chicken shit to do when I was 16. Of course time has caught up with her and she acts like she is a "goodie" now...but deep down-she is still that 80's hard ass that I love. So when I tried persuading her to read Twilight a few months back she gave me the "are you a fucking stupid" look but ended up taking my book with the promise to give it a try. I hounded her at least once a week...and her response was always "I tried-I read a few pages and I just can't get into it". UGH!


Let's fast forward to last night.... 80's Queen came over for a "girls" evening. The dh's were going night golfing-whatever! I think they secretly just go drinking - but who cares, it gets them out of the house! And I had a plan! I was going to make her watch the movie. If my persuading skills couldn't get her to read the fucking book, perhaps Mr. Pattinson's could.

Come on 80's Queen, Lay down here with me and let's watch Twilight together

Now I couldn't just say "Hey Bitch, let's watch Twilight" because that would have been met with her burning me with a lit ciggie...so I carefully-very sneaky like - put the movie on while she was out of the room..so when she returned it was starting. She sat down and started watching-without knowing "what" she was getting ready to see (insert evil laugh here). To my amazement she didn't run at me like a rabid dog and kick my ass! She actually got into it, and started asking questions.

So there we were, I would pause the DVD every now and again and explain certain things to her and she would soak it all in and love every minute of it. I could have cried! I was there to witness her lose her Twilight Virginity!


I was a little frightened because frankly I think the movie does blow donkey balls-but maybe it is just if you read the books first and you didn't have someone explaining why Edward was giving Bella the Stalker Vampire Stare most of the movie. But 80's Queen LOVED it...and even said she was going to read the book today! I called her this morning to see if she made it home ok last night and guess what? Bitch didn't lie! She was reading already!

Ahhh! I feel like a proud parent! And it didn't hurt that she thought Rob was fucking H.O.T. (except she didn't like the weird lipstick---but who did).

OK-Off to do some celebrating! LOL!!

Who Knew! I Woke Up This Morning And It Was 1998!

Backstreet Boys - Straight Through My Heart

My question is (well I have a few) but, when did the Backstreet Boys turn into Vampires? Seems like everyone is jumping on the blood sucking train! And geesh AJ-get a hat, or use some of your booze money and buy some hair! Do you know how ridiculous you look dancing around bald? And I used to be a fan...a big fan!

OK-Where did I park the DeLorean? I need to get back to 2009, I have shit to do today!

Twisessed Invites YOU to Play a Game!

Ok, let me start by saying...we are getting BORED! Until someone starts circulating a NAKED ROBERT PATTINSON picture I think we are going to be in a rut. (That just gave me an awesome idea...I should have titled this post "Naked Robert Pattinson" and seen how many hits we get then...we would go from like 3 to 3,000!).

Anyway, to get us through this nasty rut-we decided to play a game. Sort of Truth or Dare type. You send us your dares (or truths) and we pick one a week and do them on Friday.

Do you want to see us Hump Full Size Edward at the local Dairy Queen? We have never outted ourselves with real pictures. Would you like to see Mini E and Mini B do it in our grocery cart while we shop...you name it...we pick it..and we do it. PLEASE keep it reasonable though-like I have stated before...we don't want to go to prison!

All requests need to be in by Thursday at Midnight...Have fun!

Hump Day Gets Wet

I moved into a new place over the weekend. Today mini-e and mini-b decided to 'christen' my new house. Yes, they got freaky in my shower. As mini-b turned on the water, mini-e got turned on too :-) Then mini-b tried to pick up some soap, but you see what happened. Man, Mini-e was was a horndog today.

Hope you had a great hump day too!

Kathy Griffin or Bust....

Of course Mini E and Mini B had to get their freak on while we drove...those horny little bastards!

Hey Look It's Emmett! Hey Em-See Me and B do fuck...a lot too! Have you and Rosalie ever did it in a human's car going down the highway?

Then they did it in our Chip Bowl at the Restaurant...Geesh guys! Get a damn room!

Finally we arrived at the venue! FSE met us there, he drove himself--I guess he didn't want to see his Mini Self banging the Stew bag for the entire 3 hour drive. He was ready with his "Team Griffin" Shirt and everything.

If one more person walks by and laughs at me, I will kill them. I am not kidding!

Damn the Freaking Man! The stupid security guards would NOT let us take him inside. Something about him being too fucking big and we would be blocking the view of others or some shit like that. So FSE went back to his car to wait for us.

We did get to take Mini E and Mini B in though. And the nice gays behind us had fun making Mini E feel up Mini B...if they only knew what positions we had put them in before--I think their little tittie 2nd base feel up was too mild-but whatever, they had fun. The cutest thing was when gay #1 (the boy) said ..."Oh I was going to wear my button that said 'I love boys who Sparkle'..."

What kills me about this picture is the lady in the back looking like "What the F.U.C.K."...although I am pretty sure she was just wondering where she could get her hands on some Twilight dolls too-she looked a little jealous.

The Show was about to start...see how close we were! Mini E and Mini B were excited! So excited they decided to sneak off to my purse to screw for a bit.

Here is the creme de la creme....Kathy Talks About Robert Pattinson!!!!!

Sorry for the quality of this video..my cell doesn't take the best videos...

Damn it! If only FSE could have been there! Stupid Security Guards! Next time I am bringing a bag big enough to smuggle him in !

He Made It! You Know What That Means!

ROAD TRIP TOMORROW!! WITH FULL SIZE EDWARD!! We are taking his lovely ass to the Kathy Griffin Concert tomorrow and maybe through a few drive thrus on the way.

Hey Ms J---wanna take him out for dinner before the concert? I wonder how many stares we would get!
"Hello, How many are in your party"
"THREE, but one of us won't be eating, he will only be giving us his best stalker stare while we eat"

Oh this is going to be fucking fun!!!!

We will be back to tell our tales on Monday Morning!! Till then, have a fun-freakin'-tastic weekend Twinerds!

How Do You Know When You've Gone Too Far?

When this is the art that ends up at the dinner table when you go out to eat.

Yes-That is the DH wearing an "Edward" shirt! and NO, he was NOT very pleased...HA!


I personally didn't see anything wrong with it. I guess that is why I belong in the padded room. LOL!

On a side note-stay tuned for Mini E's adventures this weekend. We are taking him to a Kathy Griffin Concert. What could go wrong in an arena filled with 7,500 gays, two straight chicks and a vampire doll. I guess we will see!

Ms J ordered FS Edward-but I am not sure he will be here in time for the show. If he makes it-perhaps he can tag along too! I am not sure we could get him in without buying another ticket-but we will try. We may have to hire extra security for him-or at least bring a taser gun ourselves! Get back Bitches! (gays, lesbians, hookers and what-nots) Edward is mine! (why did I just feel like I was watching True Blood..."Sookie is MINE"...) any way... it should be a good time!