Sucked into the Vortex Known as FanFic and More Contest Information

Yes, It is Thursday...and Wednesday came (tee-hee) and went without a Hump Day Picture post....What the Fucking Hell you ask? Well, Mini E and Mini B were definitely humping! But where was the Camera Girl? Um, she was reading FanFic and didn't stop til the story was over. I sat in the same chair so long my fucking ass fell asleep. I think I need to invest in a new chair...or bring the laptop to the couch-but I have a feeling that would only fuel the FanFic reading fire and I will end up gaining 600 pounds and start yelling things like "Bring mama a block of cheese and a pound of bacon I need a snack"....

Ok, I will eat this bag of Cheetos while you get my platter of cheese and bacon...don't bother yourself with cooking that bacon mama likes it raw!

So the FanFic that had me sealed off from the rest of the world yesterday was The Dark Side of the Moon by blondie AKA robin

I realize we are probably behind the times (as usual) and most of you have already read this, but if you haven't...DO IT! Especially before seeing New Moon in less than 28 days (SQUEEEE!). The Dark Side of the Moon is New Moon written as Edwards Point of View (In the Midnight Sun Style). It doesn't have any lemons-but it is GOOD! Good enough to give your poor little clitoris' a well needed break for the day!

On the Contest Front: We realize not everyone has a Mini E AND and Mini B....so you are welcome to just send in a photo of one or the other as well.... and if you have a Full Size Edward...feel free to use him too. The most creative will win! All photos need to be sent to Twisessed@ymail.com and then make sure you leave a comment with the shirt you would like to win. Good luck!

Free Twilight Shirt from CafePress!

Want a free Shirt? Who doesn't! Here are the details we received:

For the Twilight T-shirt giveaway – Write a post letting your readers know about the Twilight giveaway. Have your readers comment on the post with a link to their favorite Twilight t-shirt from CafePress. You select the winner of the free t-shirt and send me the winner information – we take care of the rest.

Sounds easy enough right....NOT SO FAST! I didn't read anywhere in there that we couldn't add a little TwiSessed Twist! So yes, you must do what they want....but you will need to do something for us too (since we are the ones who will be selecting the winner)... so here is your task: Should you decide to do it:

Send US a picture of your Mini E's and Mini B's doing naughty things....the most creative Wins! Oh and don't forget to post a comment with the link to your favorite t-shirt....

Hurry!!

Here is a link to the free t-shirts: http://shop.cafepress.co.uk/twilight?src=NMFB

Gettin' Our Period Panties in a Twist

You know I think I am beginning to see why we don't have very many followers/friends/commenters (you get my drift)...I don't think we conform well here. We don't automatically fall in love with everything just because they put the Twilight Brand on it. YES-We LOVE the books! The books mean everything to us. But the movie blows, the first soundtrack kinda blows, K-Stew's Acting Blows, we weren't in LOVE with Jacob after Twilight....I will give him credit he is growing on us. He worked his ASS off to keep his role, but would we have been disappointed if they found a 25 year old hottie to take his place last spring....no...do we need to start building a secret room in our house to hide from Chris Hansen and his jug of iced tea now...YES!

But will we change...that answer is NO. We can't. We can't pretend to love everything there is about what they are doing to our precious books. I suppose if that means we won't gain any friends in bloggy land...so be it. We never ever mean to offend anyone-but I think sometimes that happens to BE the case. If we say something here that pisses you off...we can take it-we are big girls with pretty thick skin. I figure if we can dish the shit-we better be able to take it.

By the way: I told you I would cave...I got my NM Soundtrack today! LOL! And FSE is going to his first Dildo party tonight....good times-good times!

The Haunted Airman Hump Day

Mini-B is inspired by the movie and gives mini-E a back massage...but you know what that can lead too...

A Mouth Full of Cream!

Being called a "pube booger" has motivated me to write a post-- LOL!

Spoiler Alert! If you don't want to know what happens, then stop reading now. (Note from Ms M: Seriously You know what happens? I sat there for an hour and a half and I still don't know what the fuck happened!)

So last night Ms M and I had a random night off from the DHs and it happened to be on the night when The Haunted Airman hit the Redbox. Oh, where do I begin? First let me give you instructions for watching this DVD. Turn on the subtitles from the beginning. Ms M and I started without the subtitles, bad choice. We didn't know what was really going on. So we stop and turn the subtitles on and watched the beginning again. (Note from Ms M: Left, Right, Left, Left, right there, yeah right there, steady steady....sounds kinky: it's NOT)


We have to admit that we were wishing this was a video of the 'the office.' Some nice panty ripping moments would have made this movie so so so much better.


After turning on the subtitles, we understood what was happening, only problem was there isn't much happening. The movie was definitely made for TV, right? We aren't sure why RPattz's character, Toby, is at this mental institute for military men. He is injured sitting in a wheelchair and he smokes. Apparently, he is in love with his Aunt. Before you say What the Fuck-- It is not incest, (well not technically) it is his aunt only by marriage. So here is the whole story of the entire movie--- Toby is having issues seeing spiders and things in the shadows. His therapist at the mental hospital is doing Toby's aunt, Toby kills Aunt, movie ends.


There were parts of the movie where you see Rob use some of his same looks from Twilight. Ms M and I would have to quote Twilight while watching. "I don't have strength to stay away from you"


Another funny part... "I dropped bombs and felt instant relief." says RPattz. (Note from Ms M: I nearly fell off the couch! I am waiting for someone to put this on youtube with some farting sounds!)


He also describes how he realized that he was killing innocent people when 'dropping bombs' and leads him into a monologue reminiscent of... my family and I are not like the others. We hunt animals. We are vegetarians. Ms M and I both said this out loud when this scene was playing.


I wouldn't recommend purchasing it...unless RPattz smoking in a wheelchair gets you going... save your money for watching New Moon multiple times on the big screen. (Another note from Ms M: I agree! And the bathtub scene wasn't all that wonderful either. I am SORRY ladies! We love us some RPattz...but I couldn't help but think of Tom Hanks in Philadelphia...perhaps it was the lighting...but whatever it was...it was not attractive). OK MS M, you want to back off and let me write this motherfucker? Quit hijacking the blog ya Ass Diddler, I think you have some control issues you need to work through! HA HA!

Happy HUMP Day With The Whipped Cream Bikini!

Yep! It is Wednesday-you know what that means! HUMP-O-RAMA time! Thank you to Firecrotch (from WeBitePrettyHard) for giving Mini B this fabulous idea...Mini E was NOT disappointed! "Holy Shit Mini B these fucking non-bendy pants don't have any flexibility when it comes to accommodating my huge plastic boner!"

"I think I will start down here, if that is ok with you?"

Almost Naked RPattz

I stumbled across...okay...I searched for a Google app for my iGoogle page that had to do with Robert Pattinson. So I found 3 apps I liked...one was your basic Rob picture of the day, the second was a Twilight gossip link from Access Hollywood, and the third was... an almost naked Robert Pattinson, ready for you to dress. I ask, why would you want to dress him- LOL!

Time for me to re-read The Office-

Here is the link to the game:

http://www.freeonlinegames.com/fun-games/twilight-robert-pattinson-makeover.html

Should I Be Blogging While I'm Loaded Up on Meds...Probably Not.

But here goes anyway-Nothing has ever stopped me in the past.

I was reading some blogs today in my drunken cold medicated haze and one stood out to me by TwiSoup (I love the name by the way "It's so meaty"..LOL) and they had a very good point. After reading FanFic and meeting Edward the mean, cursing, horny bastard--it makes Edward in the book look like a real pussy. When we re-read the books don't we all secretly wish Edward would just flip Bella over in that meadow and ram his hot meat stick in her ass? I mean he could have at least grabbed a tit or two. And really....where was it that I saw the spoof about Bella offering Edward a little taste of the yonder regions while she was flowing..... Not that I wanted to read about Bella's menstrual cycle (she was whiny enough without throwing PMS into the picture)...but I could have gotten into a little clit sucking.

Yes Twisoup ladies...I think we are addicted to Naughty Edward too!!!

What was that Mr Cullen? You want to suck my tits and then ram your throbbing cock into my wet pussy... OK.

Ok-I am off to bed...this medication is really kicking in! This better not be the fucking swine flu!